Realization
by GoDale13
Summary: The team is on call this weekend and Tony invites Ziva over for a movie marathon. He knows there is more going on then she is letting on, and he is determined to figure it out. What happens when he admits to things too? TIVA Spoilers for Season 7 anything


_Here is a little one shot that I came up with this weekend. I don't know how good it is, it may not be the best thing you've ever read. Please tell me what you think!_

_Can't wait until tonight's episode! Too bad I have to wait until after my night class is over to watch it! It just ain't fun!!_

_I do not own anything to do with NCIS except for my Season DVDs. THOSE ARE MINE!!!!_

"What are your plans for the weekend, Zee-vah?" Tony asked Ziva, grabbing his bag having finished his paperwork for the week.

"I plan on staying in and reading," Ziva said, shutting her computer down as well.

"How about some pizza, and a marathon of whatever movies I got in the mail," Tony offered.

"I do not think I would be good company, Tony," Ziva offered.

"Better company than an empty apartment," Tony reasoned. It'd been a month since Ziva had returned to the team, yet the dynamics still felt off. Tony knew, as well as McGee and Gibbs, that there was still things Ziva was dealing with, and he wanted to get her to open up. "Come on, I'll even order your favorite pizza this time," he offered, trying to get her to smile.

"We are on call this weekend," Ziva tried. She had no idea why she was turning down Tony's invitation. She did not want to go back to that room at the Navy Lodge, so why was she doing this?

"If we get called in, then it will save Gibbs a call," Tony replied.

"Fine," ZIva sighed, giving in. "But only for a couple hours. I have things I should do this weekend," she told him, grabbing her backpack and following him out of the bullpen.

Three hours later, Tony and Ziva were sitting on the couch watching the credits roll at the end of the movie they'd been watching. "Are you going to turn the movie off?" Ziva asked after a moment.

"The remote's over there," Tony nodded towards the coffee table in front of them. Ziva rolled her eyes and leaned forward to grab it. "Have you found an apartment yet?" he asked after a bit.

"I have not found one in my price range yet," Ziva replied, stretching her legs, which had fallen asleep under her.

"Have you checked this building? I know there are quite a few open," Tony asked.

"I do not think that would be a good idea," Ziva exclaimed, half shocked.

"Why not? Because I live here?" Tony asked not hiding the anger he felt.

"No," Ziva said, shaking her head. "It is complicated," she tried to explain. She was not ready to tell the full truth just yet.

"Fine," Tony said, getting up from the couch. "You want something to drink?" he asked not looking back at her as he headed to the kitchen area.

"Yes, please," she answered.

Tony jerked the refrigerator open harder than he intended to. He was frustrated at everything. The two had obtained a new level in their friendship, although they seemed to have taken a few step backwards. The tension that had been between the two was gone now, but there was still an awkward uneasiness between them that had yet to be dealt with, and Tony was not sure if he was ready to deal with that.

"Tony, we should talk," Ziva spoke up suddenly.

"Isn't that what we are doing?" Tony asked, choosing to act confused, but he was sure he knew what Ziva was talking about.

"Tony, please do not do this," Ziva said, looking at the man as he was walking back into the living room. "We did not get to finish the conversation we started," she explained.

"It wasn't the best time," Tony pointed out. "Or place," he added after a second and Ziva smiled slightly.

"But now is," Ziva replied, slipping her feet under her as she snuggled into the couch, silently preparing herself for what was to come. "How did you know I was alive?" she asked quietly.

"We told you the whole story on the flight back," Tony told her.

"No, you told me that your whole mission was to take out Salim's terrorist cell," Ziva explained. "You were working under the assumption that I was dead, but you did not seem all that surprised to see me when he took the hood off my face."

Tony stared at the Israeli in front of him. He could see the walls were down, a rare occurrence that he'd only seen a handful of times before. "This would have been easier if you asked me while I still had that truth serum in me," Tony half joked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"Why were you not surprised to see me alive?" Ziva asked again, not straying from the topic.

Ziva saw Tony's jaw muscles flex, and knew that he was mentally fighting with himself. "Because admitting that you were dead was allowing them to win," Tony finally said, looking into Ziva's eyes.

"Letting who win?" Ziva asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I wasn't willing to believe you died on that ship. It just was not the way a ninja chick like you would die," Tony explained. "Someone like you won't go down without fighting. I had to keep believing you were alive although we assumed you were dead. It was the only way I could find to go on with my life. As soon as Gibbs told us that the ship you were on sunk in a storm and there were no survivors," Tony stopped for a second before continuing, "I felt like the whole world came crashing down on my chest. I couldn't breathe. It felt like it was my fault you stayed behind, my fault you were dead. At some point in our plan to take out Salim and his men, I remembered Gibbs talking to someone who said they had a female captive. I held onto that idea the whole time I was preparing for the mission," Tony finished, staring into Ziva eyes.

"I held out hope when I first got captured," Ziva began. "I silently hoped my father would send some agents down and save me, but as the days went by I knew he would not do so. I was damaged goods. He did not need me anymore. I resigned to the fact that I would die in that hellhole without anyone caring what happened to me. Never once did I expect to see your face again. It all seemed like a dream. After everything I did to you, you came after me," Tony noticed Ziva's eyes were beginning to unusually tear up, "For the three months I was there, I dreamt of the team finding me and rescuing me, but knew it would never happen. Yet, there you were sitting in front of me, tied up and beat. I had already resigned my fate that I could not get my brain to wrap around what was going on."

"I know," Tony whispered. "I wanted nothing more than to take you in my arms and erase the past couple of years," he admitted and Ziva was slightly shocked at the admission.

"The past is the past," Ziva reiterated.

"That's what you keep saying, but is that the truth?" Tony asked. "Can you really forget the past and move on like nothing happened?"

"I have to, Tony," Ziva sighed. "It is the only way to return to any sense of normalcy."

"No, it isn't, Zee-vah," Tony said his voice raised. "The only way to get any normalcy back is to face the past and deal with it."

"How?" Ziva asked, standing up. "You want me to relive three months of hell? Relive the fact that my father betrayed me too many times for my liking? Relive the fact that everything I thought was normal no longer exists?" Ziva yelled, pacing the floor in front of the couch. "I cannot do that, Tony.

"What the hell did they do to you?" Tony asked quietly. He knew there was more going on than she was letting on at work, but he did not expect her to have changed this much. "What happened after we left Israel?" he asked.

"I do not want to talk about it," Ziva said, turning her back to Tony. "It does not matter now."

"How did you end up in Somalia?" Tony tried.

"My father ordered me to finish Michael's mission," Ziva explained. "He sent me to take out the terrorist cell."

"By yourself?" Tony exclaimed.

"There was a group of five of highly trained Mossad agents assigned to the mission. I was in charge," Ziva explained. "Just off the coast of Somalia, we were attacked by a group of pirates. They took me captive and killed everyone else," she recalled. "I did not know why until Salim began interrogating me. He did not care about Mossad trying to kill him. All he cared about was learning about NCIS."

Tony got up from his spot and walked over to Ziva. "I'm sorry that I let all this happen to you," he whispered as he stood behind her. "I tried to protect you, and all I did was end up putting you in even more danger."

Ziva turned around to face him, "It is not your fault. You had no idea that I would choose to stay in Israel. That I would choose to finish Michael's mission, knowing that it was most likely a suicide mission."

"You're back now," Tony told her. "That's all that matters. I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon."

"Why?" Ziva asked, she was not sure what the look in Tony's eyes meant, or at least she refused to believe it.

"When we found out that your ship sank and believed you were dead, it hit me harder than I expected it. I realized a few things in the weeks after that," Tony began. "I thought I had lost you before I was able to tell you how much I cared for you. I think I've loved you since the moment I first met you, but I was too afraid to admit it. I thought I knew what love was when I was with Jeanne, but I was wrong. Love is knowing you can't live without someone by your side everyday for the rest of your life," Tony admitted. "That's how I feel about you. I want you by my side forever."

Ziva stood there, trying to take all of this in. She could not believe that Tony was actually telling her he loved her. After everything she had put him through, he still wanted her in his life.

"I know it is probably the wrong time to be saying all of this," Tony began backtracking. "You are still trying to get back on your own two feet. You know what, just forget I said anything," he said, running his hand through his hair nervously.

"No," Ziva whispered quietly. "I could never forget that the man I love just told me he loves me too," she explained.

Before Tony could reply, he heard his cell phone ring at his hip. Mentally cursing whoever it was calling, he grabbed his phone, "DiNozzo," he said impatiently.

"We got a dead sergeant found in a back alley," he heard Gibbs tell him. "You and David have fifteen minutes to get here," Gibbs stated before hanging up.

"We have fifteen minutes to get to a crime scene that I have no idea where it is," Tony said, looking quizzically at his cell phone as if it would give him answers.

"McGee sent me the address," Ziva explained, pulling her cell phone out as it beeped.

"Why couldn't he have just told me it over the phone?" Tony asked, rolling his eyes as he grabbed his keys.

"Because they know that the only way we will get there on time is if I drive," Ziva answered, stealing the keys from Tony's hand and turning towards the door, but stopped when she felt Tony grab her arm.

"I think we have a couple minutes to spare," he smiled at her as he walked closer to her. Putting his hands on her waist, Tony pulled Ziva closer to him, and bent his head to capture Ziva's lips in a soft, tender kiss that slowly grew more passionate as the moments passed.

Thirty minutes, Tony and Ziva walked up to the crime scene wearily on the lookout for Gibbs. Time had gotten away from the two, and they hadn't realized their fifteen minutes were up.

"Where's Boss?" Tony asked McGee who was photographing the crime scene.

McGee never answered, instead, Tony felt a hard slap to the back of his head. "Next time I say fifteen minutes, I mean fifteen minutes," he heard Gibbs chastise from behind him.

"Yes, Boss," Tony winced.

Gibbs leaned further into Tony's space and said in a low voice, "If you hurt her I will personally make sure that you will never hurt anyone again."

"Understood, Boss," Tony replied, swallowing hard, but he wasn't afraid. He knew that that was one warning Gibbs did not have to worry about him every breaking. Tony decided that if he ever hurt Ziva, Gibbs wouldn't have to worry about hurting him. If Ziva didn't get him first, Tony knew he would beat himself. He loved her too much to hurt her.


End file.
